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17

Typically, the correct way to approach this is personally, away from the rest of the class. If you have a problem with the way an instructor conducts himself, then, if it's important enough to warrant being brought to their attention, going to them one-on-one and requesting a private moment of their time is proper. It's important to not seem combative or ...


13

In my experience this is not a good way to learn, no matter how capable a teacher you are. I'm not saying that it won't work, just that the chance it being successful is very low. Any martial art takes a lot of time, patience and discipline to learn. Outside of the dojo these things can all be in short supply. Training at the dojo forces you to make the ...


6

As with any type of job, class or organization try and raise the issue in private in a one on one session. This will ensure that the instructor, owner or leader does not feel threatened or disrespected and become defensive or combative. It's important to try and not make them feel threatened or that your criticizing them. Steer the conversation into as much ...


6

Have the adult conversation with the instructor in question. Let them know that you have some feedback from people that have left, that they felt that their introduction was too advanced for a novice and leave it at that. Don't put words in people's mouths but provide the constructive critical feedback. If they are upset at your feedback, you have a ...


6

Slugster's answer is a good one to read (I up voted it) but I am going to play devil's advocate. If you relationship is strong and there are no underlying issues, then it can work well. She can practice the things she learns in the dojo with you so she can improve her form. Remember to criticise the actions not the person doing them. the technique is not ...


5

Stages of Conflict Prior to any discussion of conflict, we need to examine what the conflict is and at what stage we're entering into it. The stages below represent levels of escalation (delineated clearly only for illustrative purposes; they are never quite so clear), and your entry into a conflict may occur at any stage (that is, you can be trained to ...


4

From my experience as a bouncer, I can unequivocally state that you are making two very big assumptions here: escalations can be avoided escalations should be avoided The best way to avoid an escalation is to walk away. However there are many times where you can't or shouldn't avoid the escalation, and there will be times where you need to join the ...


3

You've gotten some good answers here. Another approach might be to suggest to the head instructor that it might be time for the club to offer different level classes. Most schools separate out beginners from advanced students; if the club has a mix of black belts and newcomers, it would be appropriate for the club to do the same. You might have to offer ...


3

I cannot add more to the answers already there apart form a few advice: be assertive. Assertiveness at work is a good book to have to learn how to do it. Basically, it is looking at how to criticise actions but not the person doing them while focusing on resolving the problem at heart. So instead of saying "Your classes are too hard so new members ...


3

Rory Miller and Marc MacYoung do a "Conflict Communication" course. They are available for seminars, and I beleive will have a book coming out soon on the topic. I've been through the seminar with Rory and it was a great learning experience. http://conflictcommunications.com/index.htm Rory's book "Facing Violence" is also a great resource on this topic.


2

If you ask people who the greatest guitar player in the world was, you would get varied results, but someone would inevitably say that it was Jimi Hendrix. Even if you disagree about Jimmy Hendrix being the best, you have to admit that he was very good. Jimi Hendrix taught himself how to play guitar. I think training at home is fine but I have ...


1

I don't have personal experience of any books on the broader topic of conflict resolution, but a few different texts I've read touch on different specific sub-topics. My old karate school uses Joan M. Nelson's Self-Defense: Steps to Success for a reference manual on the topics of assertiveness and de-escalation, which are key concepts in conflict ...


1

I'm going to answer this question by pointing my finger at the moon. Conflict comes from ego. Your ego. Other people's ego. And two or more egos suddenly wanting really hard to "win". If YOU don't want to win, then where is the conflict? Well, unfortunately, sometimes egos make up big long stories and they don't need another ego. So now you know: once ...



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