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12

In my experience as a male trainer and trainee the key for a hard, educational or maybe painful training is trust between all parts of the training group. Female fighters have told me that they were beaten up in training after they told their opponent to slow down. Afterwards they felt violently abused. So in such a case the trainer has the responsibility ...


10

What you're describing is a sensitivity to your own violent thoughts and actions. You feel bad even thinking about inflicting pain on a training partner, even if it's just a "tap" which you know causes no real pain. Just the thought of hitting someone over and over again causes you to feel bad. And so after 3 years of being in a style that practices that ...


9

Is the student toxic?1 If yes then get ride of him as soon as possible. If they have no desire to change, then they have to go. Actually, that might be harsh: offer him the choice of either mending his ways or training elsewhere. If maybe, then you have to figure out if they are willing to change their behaviour. Again, you need to talk to them in an open ...


9

First off, consider therapy. I know that it's not exactly martial arts advice, but it sounds like you've undergone a great deal of trauma and frankly, us just giving you training advice would be like giving cadence tips to a runner with a broken leg. You have been damaged and you need a qualified medical professional to help you with that damage. Past that, ...


8

There's two issues here: Ranging for Contact and Force This is a problem I see with folks who train for non-contact in their drills or doing "air sparring" - you train yourself to punch 2-3 inches away from actual contact, and you end up learning to attack, and evade/block, at those ranges. First thing, is your drills and training have to be at the ...


7

Accidents happen. However, when you have an accident with people you are not really trying to hurt - you make extra effort to make sure the accident doesn't happen again - otherwise it is not an accident. If someone's ego at losing in sparring causes them to attempt to really injure someone, that is not a safe person to work with. Consider what you are ...


7

In general you will do a lot of things in training that may not be directly applicable in a fight. This does not mean that they are not helpful. For example: what is the likely practical fighting application of a press up? This can also extend to Stances - some stances are designed to work your leg muscles and increase your balance. My experience comes ...


6

Hi have a trained a couple of ladies over the years and here is my take on it. For starters, there is a difference between training hard and just getting beat up. While I believe that is very important that you treat a women the same way you treat a man it is also important to not discourage a women from training. First - As a women you should be aware ...


6

Of course you should quit! From what you said, you are neither having fun nor learning anything. I know you are young but your time is valuable. There is no point in wasting your time with people who do not appreciate you and refuse to teach you. The shame is theirs. Find another martial art class to go to, one where you can learn, grow, and have fun. If ...


5

As a beginner, I would say you should definitely be wearing gloves and more importantly the person you're sparring against should be wearing some form of protective gear, particularly at least a gum shield. If you've never done any sparring before and you're a white belt, it shouldn't be expected that you would know how to control a technique. It is also ...


5

You can watch other people sparring to see how they deal with front-leg kicks; either watch 'live' at tournaments, or search for videos on YouTube. However, I watched a video of a gold medal final from the London Olympics and couldn't really see what their approach was! I train in ITF TKD, which normally has a different approach to sparring (more use of ...


5

Is it generally expected in martial arts systems that all training stances/positions (horse stances, front stances, drop stances, etc.) will have direct fighting applications? Generally expected... No. In reality. Yes. All stances have fighting applications. All movements in kata or forms have direct fighting applications. They may not be ...


5

Is this the logo of your club? ☺ On a more serious note, what you are describing is called bullying which is a form of abuse. Bullying should not be tolerated in any context whatsoever. So, what can you do? First, if you were knocked out: seek medical help as soon as possible. You might have more damage than just "seeing stars". Some might be ...


4

This is a problem for me as well. This is usually due to friction tearing your skin open as you try to pivot. Look for some shoes you can wear during training. Skeletoes work really well for me, but I usually split my toes due to hardwood, not mats. They do make mat-specific shoes. Use "New Skin" or some other brand of liquid bandage to seal up your ...


4

Getting through the defenses of an opponent is one of the fundamental concepts of every combat strategy devised by man. There are at least as many ways to circumvent an opponent's defenses as there ways to defend oneself. I will attempt to break things down to a basic level. Here are some of the most common means of defense utilized in unarmed combat: ...


3

I second taping your toes. I use Johnson's & Johnson's athletic tape to tape my toes and I rarely have any issues with the tape slipping or falling off, in fact, I have to cut it off with a knife from time to time because it sticks so well. I pull enough tape to wrap around my toe about two or three times and fold one corner down so that I can remove ...


3

I don't have a direct answer for you, but I'd like to address your statement that "In a real fight I think I can go full on." Please note that this is not what usually happens. In an emergency situation, people generally revert to whatever they've practiced most, and if they've been practicing holding back, it doesn't bode well for outcomes. It's like ...


3

In our schools we mix up our sparring training so that we can have everybody sparring simultaneously at times. At others times a couple of choice students spar whilst the others watch. Pausing frequently to swap students and give feedback (positive-negative-positive for morale/confidence). This method also allows an instructor to act as a referee (you can ...


3

Do you know what the student wants out of the class? I have found the first place to look for resolution is to look for a win-win. If there is a way the Chief Instructor can help him accomplish what he wants to get from the class without affecting the others, then that is the win-win. Of course, this is not nearly so easy as typing a paragraph about how ...


3

The short answer, is you will learn a martial art, but will be unable to fight effectively. This is based on personal experience and backed up by a few authors. This is based on the fact I learned more from boxing and judo (both full contact arts that focused on getting in front of another person) in a few months than I did from 10 years of Karate (and that ...


3

Competence and confidence go hand in hand. It's very difficult to gain one while the other is constantly being battered. Cut it down to one martial art, and probably none that are on your current list. More is not better. Find a female only school, at least for a while. Many if not most schools will run female only classes. Focus on a martial art which ...


3

You don't have to be the best. Your training should improve you in ways that are independent of where you may finish in competition. If your training does not do this, then I definitely recommend leaving. That said, if you want to succeed in national competition, you need to improve in sparring. If you want to improve at sparring/fighting, you find the ...


3

One of the things my early teachers in the martial arts said, that I have seen repeatedly over the past 20ish years of teaching martial arts, is that everyone goes through phases where they feel like they aren't learning, or are even getting worse. Often, what is really happening is that the mental development that is part of learning a martial art is ...


3

You don't happen to go to Eric Kelly's Cherry Street boxing gym, do you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syhb3z4pTFQ I'm kidding. But if you watch that video, I wonder if you might see some things in common with your gym experience. Coaches can be intimidating. They push you. Usually it's because they want you to step up your game and learn quickly, ...


2

No, you can learn the form... But not the applications... In martial arts one of the aspects for complete understanding of art is put in practice what you learned... Is like you try learn to swim without jump to water.


2

You may find a grappling art such as Judo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or wrestling easier to get into the mind set for. Once your more used to the "game" of sparing transferring this to striking is simpler. With grappling the transition from drilling a technique with a partner (especially positional type moves) to using it against them is smoother. Your training ...


2

Sparring is not required to be good at Martial Arts, but it can be useful. Sparring offers the ability to see patterns in someone's movement, their punches, and their kicks. Doing that you can see how different people move in different ways. With that you can understand how the human body works and know what someone might do right after that hook kick. It is ...


2

Talk to your instructor. Your instructor should pair you up with another woman with similar build/height, but if the situation does not permit such arrangement then your male partner should know better than to go full force on you. It might be good practice but if you don't learn anything and only getting injured, it is not going to do any good to you. ...


2

To echo more of what everyone else is saying: there is a fine line between abusive behaviour and hard training. My reading of your question is that your sparing partners have crossed it. Did they do that knowingly or by mistake I cannot tell. Some schools do go for a harder than rocks attitude that if you do not bleed, you are not training hard enough. Are ...


2

Quite frankly, it sounds like you're in an abusive training environment. The language you're using is uncomfortably similar to what I might hear from someone being beaten up by their spouse, the "they only hurt me badly when I'm doing things wrong" and making excuses for their behavior. It is possible that you're in a situation where you're literally out of ...



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