I have little hope for an answer, but would like to hear your ideas:
Yesterday evening I went visiting my dear old ma. She lives at one of very best neighborhood of Tel-Aviv - Very quiet, very secure. This is my childhood neighborhood, so I know it very well.
Around 11 P.M. I decided to take the bus back home. I waited at the bus station, very near my old high-school. There was almost no traffic. It was quite dark as the street light kept turning off and on again. To pass the time I decided I'd train a little in the Alexander technique, and I started practicing the monkey stance. This makes me look rather peculiar, but there was no one around so I didn't mind. I mention this because for me practicing this technique has almost meditative qualities - it really calms me.
I was absorbed in my meditation when two teenagers on an electric korkinet passed me by. Out of the blue one of them shouted a curse at me, spat on me, and they sailed away.
All this is a preface and setting the scene to what really troubles me: In a blink I straightened, used my "low, manly, aggressive" voice, and shouted an insult at him describing the sexual practices of his mother. And, on the way home on the bus, though I was shocked by the unexpected and unprecedented aggression, and though I felt soiled by the spit, I really felt good about how manly I reacted. That is - I felt good about it till I calmed down and analyzed my response.
Now, I like to think of myself as a rational guy. Just previous month I've had a seminar with Rory Miller about how to deescalate violence and avoid fights. So I'm really disappointed with myself and my reaction: In the first real test - I flunk and respond aggressively.
So, my question is: Can you think of any method or training method to try and restrain such automatic aggression reactions?