How to defend yourself when everything and everyone doesn't care/work?

Question

Is there a kind of "last resort" for self defense? I have gone to the authorities, other people, and they haven't cared that I was getting beat up. I weigh very little compared to my aggressors and I am normally outclassed (this is not a duplicate, as I just want the pain to stop, no matter what I have to do). I have learned several martial arts (aikido, JKD, Krav Maga, to name a few) and though my instructor says I am proficient I just get pummeled anyway. No one cares, nothing works, what can I do when I am in this situation!?!?

Answer 1

This is what you're not going to get from the dojo people, who view martial arts as a restrained, mannered, and honorable discipline. That's the best view, but it takes a tremendous amount of hard work and dedication. The ones who are good make huge sacrifices for their art.

The prize fighting enthusiasts understand martial arts even less. For them it's a sport—a way to prove their power, and maybe make some money. But MMA is divided into two classes: champions and punching bags, and it's 99.99% the latter. The ones who didn't come from tough backgrounds don't understand the real world either.

What you're going to find across the arts is a lack of dimensional thinking, and an over-emphasis on applications and techniques as opposed to strategy and considered violence. Violence is abhorrent. It can feel good at the time, but it takes a toll on the psyche. People become addicted to pain and violence, and seek it out. Many of them were physically abused.

Marines are a good example of fighters who understand the real world. Martial arts, applied in that field, is not a game or a sport or a mannered pursuit. It's taught from the perspective of a life or death struggle. There's no guarantee you're going to win, but if you don't you're going to inflict as much damage as possible, with inhibition or restraint.

• You need to make it understood that attacking your is not worth it

Your attackers see this as a game. You need to convey to them that it is not a game to you.

Martial artists who reject this notion do so because:

1. They haven't experienced real violence, only controlled violence in safe spaces

2. Their understanding of the arts is shallow—they think it's about this or that art or application, not sheer determination and level of commitment

3. They don't understand that the decision to enter combat is a calculation, specifically a minimax calculation

I had a friend who used to carry a hammer in her purse because she had to walk in dangerous neighborhoods late at night. She only had to use it once, and it freaked her out, but very few people want to get hit with a hammer.

I used to get attacked all the time because I was skinny and seen as an easy target. I learned how not to be an easy target, and then how to convey that information. I've had people twice my size opt not to fight, initially by conveying that I was willing to go to any length, and later via simple confidence.

The situation you are in is not good, and it doesn't sound like you have many options.

• Find a real martial arts school with a teacher who understands the arts

Krav was designed to allow non-fighters like diplomats a chance to survive, and maybe get away, until help arrives. Resisting kidnapping was a main objective. Not suitable for your needs, because no help is coming.

Aikido is like tai chi only—people are attracted to it because they don't like to fight, and they never test themselves outside their systems. They don't train to strengthen their bodies sufficiently. This arts on their own are too courtly and mannered.

Jeet Kun Do is not a martial art, but a philosophy, so those that teach it are generally frauds—Lee's prominent students like Inosanto had significant martial arts training before they learned Lee's MMA and way of fighting without form. Bruce Lee was talking about strategy, not this or that art.

Sometimes, if you show sufficient fighting spirit, your attacker will come to respect you, even if you get beaten. I've even made one or two friends this way.

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Note about real teachers: They don't hand out compliments to their serious students and tell them they're "proficient". Real teachers look at their students and are generally depressed, because they students have such a long way to go, and very few are going to stick with it and put in the time. Teachers hand out compliments to students who aren't serious about the arts b/c it's all about keeping up enrollments. I think in 25 years my teacher told me I did something adequately perhaps 3 times. And yet, I was tasked with teaching. My teacher gave me special attention because of my commitment. My si hings would give me brutal lessons on occasion demonstrate how unprepared I actually was, but they respected me because I kept with it. They didn't give those lessons to less arrogant students. I train harder today than I did when I was 25 specifically because I am never confident in my abilities. I always see myself as disadvantaged, but that can't matter. If you don't have a choice, you have to find a way to prevail.

Part of the point I'm trying to make here:

• If you came to me with this problem, I'd send you to a teacher who specializes and whose credentials I know

Even if I taught for money, I wouldn't take your money. But the teachers you've been going to aren't qualified, and are willing to tell you anything to get you to keep paying them to support their fantasy of being a master.