I have no martial arts training.

When I am facing someone who is 1 inch taller and 50 pounds heaver than me and has been doing martial arts for over 12 years how should I react.

I cannot run away and the situation usually involved grappling. I am reasonably fit. I do not want to escalate the situation.

Are there some basic techniques I can practice?

  • 5
    Bite. I once saw a guy bite his opponent's testicle. it was extremely effective. It was a desperate situation though. Commented Oct 13, 2014 at 10:19
  • Usually if someone chooses you as their target it was because they thought they could beat you, either through strength, age, experience, or some other factors (or combination of factors). Commented Oct 13, 2014 at 22:02
  • This sounds more like a brother quarrel than other situation ... I dont remember where I heard this phrase, but it have been a kind of spiritual guide for me .... "In real life, its not the other guy who decide when he won, its you who decide when you have lost." Which bring my question : to which extremities are you willing to bring this ? Sometimes admitting defeat IS the wiser choice ... Commented Oct 15, 2014 at 19:06
  • Just to reinforce what other people have said, if you don't want to be sparring with this person and they haven't stopped when you ask them to, they are bullying you and it's very much time to get someone (parents, teacher, police?) to intervene. Even if you're saying this is more on the reluctant sparring partner end, they're being a major jerk and it sets off red flags that you're worried about 'escalating' the situation.
    – RSid
    Commented Oct 23, 2014 at 22:15
  • @JuannStrauss you not need to be that disgusting XD. But it is true human bite it is not a joke we have strong muscles there heritage of your apes ancestors it is enough to get through jugular or a finger... there is a chance to give a infection as there is bacteria that live in human spit. There are different techniques not involving biting (press points for example) you can learn self defense for that.
    – kifli
    Commented Jan 7, 2016 at 10:39

3 Answers 3


This is a tricky one to answer without knowing more about your specific situation. If I have misconstrued your question then please add more detail so others don't also get the same impression.

Are you a willing participant, or an unwilling one?

If you are unwilling, to what degree? Is it just a casual nuisance (someone comes home from training and wants to use you as a reluctant training partner), or this is a domestic abuse situation?.

If this is domestic abuse, get the authorities involved now - there is no such thing as "too soon".

If you are simply a reluctant participant in someone else's games, then learning to hit back is not necessarily the right answer either. There is no magic switch you can hit to just stop someone - not without a lot of practice and training. You "don't want to escalate", so this leaves one option - use your words. If you can't have a serious conversation with this person to stop this behaviour, then refer back to my previous answer - get outside help now.

But just to be really clear (in case I wasn't): we cannot and will not teach you or coach you out of a personal situation that involves violence. In situations like this you need to reach out and get assistance from those around you, including friends, family, law enforcement and social agencies.

  • 1
    Slugster - the situation is more like the 1st case. I'll try and have a conversation with this guy. Thanks
    – k m
    Commented Oct 13, 2014 at 5:55
  • @km That's good to hear - it's not as bad as the second option. You should do some training yourself, then once you have some background you could ask questions on how to best handle specific situations or moves.
    – slugster
    Commented Oct 13, 2014 at 6:12

If someone is more willing to fight than you, more athletic than you, and better at fighting than you, you will usually lose. Try not to be in that situation.

  • 1
    This is basically what I wanted to say too. Commented Oct 13, 2014 at 10:17
  • 1
    Man you seem to be the sport expert on all the sport sites on SE. Do you practice martial arts? are you an expert or a trainer somehow?! You really know a lot! Share your story with us :P
    – Jack Twain
    Commented Oct 17, 2014 at 8:56
  • @AlexTwain I'm no expert. I just happen to write well enough to gain Internet Points on fitness.se and ma.se. I lift a bit and right now I'm training BJJ (as a white belt). Commented Oct 17, 2014 at 9:55
  • That's a pretty simple but good way to put it.
    – coltonon
    Commented Oct 26, 2014 at 20:54

Let me add some "psychological" aspect to the great answers above. This is of course by no means based on any scientific study, just my own experience and reasoning.

If you've never been in a fight, in a tense situation you're usually and obviously stressed, afraid and diffident. This is perfectly natural and obvious - usually people feel this way when they face an unknown situation, especially when it's potentially dangerous. This intimidation is perceived by the aggressor and usually it makes them more confident and eager to maintain the pressure and engage.

If on the other hand you had some sparring and a fight is not a completely new situation for you, it makes you calmer. Of course, you still think "ok, this guy is twice as big as me, and probably is more experienced in a fight", but at least what is potentially going to happen won't be something completely new to you. This doesn't seem much, but the sole fact that you're not as intimidated as in the first case makes also the aggressor less encouraged. Which helps avoiding the fight you probably were going to loose. And let me stress this: you don't have to be a macho, look the other guy in the eye and say "c'mon, show me what you've got". Just the fact that you're not completely unfamiliar with fighting and are more capable of remaining calm does help much.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.