It seems a number of females share your problems. I read a number of female BJJ bloggers, and they have expressed similar feelings. My suggestion is to read what they have to say and maybe reach out to them.
a tiny, shy woman who is mad keen on jiujitsu and gives a brutally honest account of her journey.
a post a little while ago where she talks about how she struggles a bit with guys either being too rough, or too gentle
http://gingersnaps.me/2014/07/21/women-in-bjj-are-not-delicate-flowers/
a woman who is very confident and addresses a lot of issues girls have on the mats in bjj
http://skirtonthemat.wordpress.com/
another woman who has all around good advice but also does a lot to promote women in bjj http://clearbelt.blogspot.com/
another great bjj woman blogger who has come across a number of negative scenarios as a female grappler and has a bunch of advice on how to deal with it.
oh, and a video just for fun, tells you how to roll with women! :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw-KF6Ub8-4
- A tiny, shy woman who is mad keen on jiujitsu and gives a brutally honest account of her journey.
- A post a little while ago where she talks about how she struggles a bit with guys either being too rough, or too gentle.
- A woman who is very confident and addresses a lot of issues girls have on the mats in bjj.
- Another woman who has all around good advice but also does a lot to promote women in bjj
- Another great bjj woman blogger who has come across a number of negative scenarios as a female grappler and has a bunch of advice on how to deal with it.
- Oh, and a video just for fun, tells you how to roll with women! :)
Virtually all of them have posts about rolling with men
. From what I can tell, all of them simply persisted and things got better.
But in summary :-
Rolling is never a waste no matter who you are rolling with, there's always something you can work on. I know when I started, one of my instructors said to be aggressive to try and partner with a higher grade even if perhaps they wouldn't of chosen to partner with you. You'll get better faster. Same thing for you, you are there to learn bjj, doesn't how new / little / young you are, be aggressive and go get the training / rolling partners you want as quick as you can. Don't wait for them to choose you.