The literal translations...Tori = attacker/performer Uke= reciever are used completely differently across different martial arts.
In shorinji kempo Tori is always the 'attacker' and Uke is always the 'defender'. In aikido Tori is the performer of the technique and Uke is the receiver of the technique. So a SK kenshi and an Aikidoka will see the same technique and disagree about which is Tori and which is Uke.
So really we need a different definition for each style.
Judo/Aikido/AikiJujutsu:- Tori: performer of technique Uke: receiver of technique
Shorinji Kempo/Iaido:- Tori: attacker Uke: reciever of the attack
Edit. Kendo prefers Uchidachi and Shidachi as attack and defence are very similar movements in this style.
Eg this book